Sunday thoughts

You know, it's amazing how just a few minutes of hearing God's word can put your life in perspective.  I was feeling really crappy today, right before vesper.  For one thing, i was still sick, and another thing... well... things didn't really go my way.  FOr one, i had to go to an open house meeting instead of to the mall with maow and ben.  Then, at grow kids, i helped teach the lesson, but my teaching really sucked.  I barely used the Bible passage ben started with, and i hardly backed it up with anything from the Bible.  I know what i taught wasn't worng, but i could feel that the holy spirit wasn't with me.  i almost made Nix cry with one example i did, and i felt really bad about it.  Sorry Nix. Didn't mean to scare you.

I also kinda over exaggerated a slightly angry feeling i had right before vesper.  It was half a joke, but half wasn't.  This whole day i really let my human nature get the better of me.

And to think that two night befores, at AG, i was so blessed by everything i heard.  How God was moving in the lives of the people who went to camp and how their fire was burning for Him.  Sometimes I just let things slip away so fast.  I totally forgot about all that happend that night.  I was still serious about what i said at AG, but it just wasn't as great as i made it seem.  It just happened like once.

This whole week, I really thought i was close to God, but deep down in my heart i knew that i wasn't anymore.  I see now that is why God put my ministries on hold.  I'm not gonna be able to play in the band this week, and i haven't been able to go to cribs in months.  It's not right to be doing ministry when your heart is not on God.  God also showed me that He is the only thing constant in my life.  Friends aren't always there, and GOd should be my number 1 priiority, not them.

The message tongiht wasn't amazing, but it still really spoke to me.  From the moment i heard "ANd Jesus called Matthew", I knew God was telling me something.  He's still calling me.  He took a tax collector, one of the worst people, and used him.  I know that God is calling me to turn back to Him.  To be honest, it's the first time a message has meant something to me in months. 

This week, i'm gonna make it a serious goal to do my QT everyday.  Not just read the Bible, but pray, meditate, and grow.  I want to know God again, and love him more than anything.  If you guys wanna text me during the week to make sure i'm doing my QT, please do.  It would help me be accountable. :D  I just thanks GOd sooooooooo much that he always takes me back and forgives me, even though i don;t deserve it.