Blender

You know how if you take a whole lotta food, and blender it, it's kinda gross right?  For example,  Soup, coke, burger, fries, egg, hotdog, adobo, pizza, icecream, etc...  If you were to drink the blended stuff, you wouldn't be able to tell apart one food from the other.  They'd just all taste terrible and like a little bit of each.  Of course you're be able to tell with likes chunks or burger and stuff. You wouldn't know what you were drinking if you didn't see what went into it.

Well let me explain my point now.  I guess my feelings are kinda like that too.  There are just so many feelings.  Some are even contradictory feelings. Mixing them all together, it's weird and i dont know what i feel.  I'm not just talking about girls here or whatever, although that's a part of it.  I'm talking about a lot of things.

There are a few feelings that i can tell what they are.  Then there are a few that i can tell what they are, but i dont know why i feel that way.  Then there are some things where i'm trying to figure out what i'm really feeling. It's hard. I know i need to figure it out, but i dont know where to start.  It's like unblendering all the foods again.  (not as impossible ad that but you get the idea).  It's gonna be hard figuring out what is what. And worse than that, why it is what it is.

It's like my common sense, my feelings, and mind are fighting.  My common sense tells me that i know exactly what i feel and i dont need to rethink it. My feelings tell me that i'm either lying to myself or i feel both things at the same time. And my mind wants to do what God wants me to do. 

sometimes i think that thinking makes it worse and just blends it more... :|

ok... that's it for now... time to start unblendering....