this is nothing. dont really need to read it.

first of all the people who can view this are just whatever names i felt like clicking.

basically, im tired of people making me feel like they care for me when they really dont. They only talk to me if i talk to them first and if i dont then we lose all communication na. Im tired of feeling likes its my fault that im not close to these people na cuz its not my fault, it's their fault too. But still im the only one who feels bad about. How great right? Once again im the only one wo gets hurt.

I kinda wish i didnt care so much. it would make things easier. cuz i could just focus on me and the things God wants me to do and i wouoldnt have to worry about anyone else. But it's not like that. For some stupid reason i care that i dont talk to these people as much as i used to, or that our relationship isnt the way its supposed to be. im tired of things being complicated and me not understanding what to do. its tiring.

I know this is a stupid log just complaining about random stuff that no one really want to hear about but im posting it anyway cuz its making me feel better to say it, even if no one's listening. and i know im gonna get some "awww matt its ok im here for you" comments, but thats not the reason i wrote this. im not after sympathy. i just want you to know that im not feeling great. And maybe praying for me would help. Maybe if i just had one thing to focus on i could handle it. but no. i have school, that calling God has for me, friends, and of course, the usual stupid crush/like/love. hahaha. which i know that last one will end up going nowhere. hahaha. i dont think anyone would fall in love with me and even if they did, they deserve someone better.

Crap. welcome back emo days. hahaha


I guess this is just all my stress thats built up over the start of this new year. its just march and already my mind is explding with responsibilities and things i have to do and things i want to do but i cant. alright. i'll stop now.

sorry for all the complaining. I'll try to smile and feel better. hehe. block off the problems for a while. the relationship ones can handle themselves. time will handle those. I just need to focus on school and God. and keep on smiling. :D why? cuz maybe it'll make me happy if i smile. :)) stupid logic! wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

good night. its not really late but the blog is long na and probably full of typos. :P

See? i feel a little better already.

-Matt