My thoughts for today

Isn't it funny how we don't realize someone exists until we meet them? We don't realize that their life has been going on for probably just as long as ours. They've been through their own drama and stuff. Everyone has their own past and their own deep struggles.

With some people, you don't really feel compelled to know their past. With others, you want to know them. There is someone deep inside of them, the real them.

For me, i am someone who is really passive. I like to take things easy. I like to have fun. i like to play tony hawk at 2am in the morning, and play guitar at 7am. I'm responsible tho. I can't stand knowing that there is something i have to do that i haven't done. I like to do advanced work. I care for people. I want what's best for them over what's best for myself, especially for my friends. Im insecure about who i am, and i often compare myself to other people. I never good enough that way. I'm never the best at anything. But i try hard. and i hope that's enough.

People say im quiet. i am. people say im a good friend. and that's all ive ever been. never anything more. even if i wanted to. I'm emo....meaning emotional. i'm usually forgotten, but that's ok too. I feel like i have to look out for number one because no one else will, but i always end up making myself number 10 because i care for others too much. I want to find the right person for me. And i just hope im the right person for her. i don't want to make a mistake. Its ok if i get hurt, as long as i don't hurt anyone else. I want to be a good friend to everyone, and i feel like crap when i fail them.

Most of all, i want to live my life the way God wants me to. And that's the hardest. It sucks because im never good enough. But God is fixing me. that's something i have to learn to think about. i always say "ill fix it." but it's really god who will. I want to live my life for him. I want to be what he wants me to be. and i want to think im trying hard, but im not yet giving him what he deserves. :( But im trying. At least i hope i really am. He's the most important part of my life because He is my life. Without God i have no life.

Anyway, that's a bit about me. Im matt. I try to keep things simple even when they're not.

Who are you? deep down. Who is the real you? and will you trust me enough to let me know?