Monday, April 27, 2009

COLLEGE CAMP!!!!!!!!!

GCF Youth L.I.V.E. College Camp 2009
STAND (Success Through A New Direction)
May 29-31, 2009 @ Hacienda Darasa Tanauan Batangas
Camp fee: Php 2,000 (on or before May 17)
Late Registration: Php 2,500
Contact: 09209613845 for more info
and visit http://www.gcfyouthlive.com

Sunday, April 19, 2009

All time low

Ok. So ive been at this low for quite some time now. It all came when i doubted my calling from God. ever since then we havent been that close. I know i was wrong to doubt and ive come back to him already tho.

Then i got jealous of maow. Cuz people keep saying he's gwapo and yeah i know. Im not. whatever. Stop rubbing it in my face for my whole life that im fat and he's gwapo. Its not fun. I hate it. It doesnt help that all the pretty girls at camp bonded with him too. it doesnt help that things always turn out so freakin well for him and his girls.

Then there the worship team crap. the whole, band whatevers. at first i thought my band wasnt so good and that maow got a good band. then just when i was ok with it maow gets the camp band. the most freakin awesome band ever. even worse is they sound frakin awesome. they bonded super. i tagged alone. stupid matt.

then camp happend. yey. all my best friends had the best time in the world without me. congratz.

then didi fell for jasper. yey. things keep getting better. once again i lose to some guy who i think doesnt ever deserve a girl. yet he gets one of the best. thanks a lot. i guess it goes back to me being a loser.

and yes im immature and do stupid things. i did something very stupid today.

then yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh i cried and stuff again. i cant fix my life. venting doesnt help anymore. no matter how many times i say i want to kick a certain someone's ass it doesnt help.

my ministry sucks. i always get left out. my bro gets everything i ever wanted in life. and im a loser. this is awesome.

i hate my life. i hate that i feel this way.


AJSDKL:FADSHDJASDJKASHDUWHAEFJEJI if i just had something i could smash then i would. im tired of getting hurt and of hurting myself. im tired. i want to go home to heaven. i want to stop na. please. time out muna.

Im a great leader for MT right? this mess of a guy. screw school tomorrow. screw everything cuz i dont know what to do. im not happy anymore but then again life isnt about being happy. so i just need to suck it up and remember that pain is a part of life. STUPID MATT. YOU ARE STUPID. venting doesnt help so why do i vent? cuz im stupid. im a stupid loser. and the only thing i can do is be hard on myself because everything im feeling is just me and is my fault. and im gonna lose all my friends cuz im so depressing to be with. i cant even share this with my closest friends or family.

Friday, April 17, 2009

4:22am thoughts

ok. just got off the phone with nix. it was SO GOOD to hear from the people there at camp :DI miss them....  And just cuz i have nothing better to do, here are the people i miss:

1. Nix
2. Didi
3. Justine
4. Andie
5. Jel
6. Liam
7. Maow (yes, maow)
8. Najee

2am thoughts

so its 2am. Camp people get home tomorrow...err...later today. I don't want to sleep yet.

We had band practice for sat for the last 2 days. honestly i thought it was sabog talaga but i guess we'll have to fix that during our run throughs O_O. I just want us to do our best for God. Im doing a little bit of lead in our songs. I LOVE IT :)) maaaaaaaaan. wala lang. :P hahaha. its cool. im still not comfortable with it tho. haha. I was able to figure out a few riffs and stuff for the songs that didnt have tabs online. Im proud of myself for that :D

Earlier i went out with jai and jeff. It was fun naman. ate at BK and then walked around galle. I bought the spiderman bear na :)) didnt wait for didi na to come with me :P hahaha. bumped into majar and ian and went to power books.

Anyway....ummmm....yeah....God's teaching me something. FINALLY! :)) i mean....its been a while eh since ive like really seen God. as in like when something happens you automatically think "wow God is talking to me". So He is talking to me. So yeah. awesome. i just need to keep talking and keep listening.

Nix called me tonight and yesterday. Camp sounds awesome :D i can tell she's trying to not let me know how awesome it is cuz id be sad im not there but i can tell its pretty awesome. although this is coming from a first timer =)) nothing wrong with that tho. :P I miss her na. i miss other people to, but i havent seen her the longest. yeaaaaaah. we'll see what happens after camp. sana i get to hang out with them :)

been donig a lot of thinking recently. i guess its a good thing. Ive been doing a lot of singing too :)) its nice to hear a voice eh when you're alone...and even when you're not alone :)) WHAAAAAT? but yeah. hahahaha.

Been youtubing much. and my brutes. :))

So yeah. college camp na please. i want to get mine :P hahaha. So bitin ending to this blog entry. lemme add pa.

oooooooooh! lyrics of a song! :P GAME!

"(Keep Breathing my angel, if you go down I go with you)
May I saw I loved you more 
(Keep Breathing, Just Keep Breathing)
(Keep Breathing my angel, if you go down I go with you)
May I saw I loved you more
(Keep Breathing, Just Keep Breathing)

Let's drink to memories we shared
Down one to all the hopes and cares
Here's two for being unaware that you're gone
Because before too long you'll be a memory
Let's drink to memories we shared
before too long you'll be a memory
Down one to all the hopes and cares
Because before too long you'll be a memory
Here's two for being unaware that you're gone
Because before too long you'll be a memory
Because before too long you'll be a memory"

Sad naman.... Imma find another para its happy.

"Its not the end of the world

In fact its not even the end of the summer

But thank god the tv is on

Cuz theres no way we could know

Anything that’s goin down

Or how were supposed to be feeling about it

I cant tell you how much I wish we could shut up and smile, yeah



Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it

la la la la la la

all we needs a harmony and we’ll convince the world to sing

la la la la la la

throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)

maybe spread a little love

I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I’m a little drunk)

But all we need is some ice cream and a hug



Take a good look around

Does life really suck

Are we just complaining

I hope that this mic is on (testing 1, 2)

Cuz im on a roll here

I hope this is making some sense

I hope that you’ll throw up your hands and sing it

And tell all the haters that they should just shut up and smile, yeah



Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it

la la la la la la

all we needs a harmony and we’ll convince the world to sing

la la la la la la

throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)

maybe spread a little love

I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I’m a little drunk)

But all we need is some ice cream



All we need is love and beer

And old school metal and holiday cheer

TO be happy

(All you need is someone near)

like ben and jerry

(to hold you close and pretend that they care)



can we all just, get along now

we found something that we all have in common now

we can hold hands, do keg stands

water skiing sounds great to me now



Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it

la la la la la la

all we needs a harmony and we’ll convince the world to sing

la la la la la la

throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)

maybe spread a little love

I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe we’re a little drunk)

But all we need is some ice cream and a hug



(Chanting “All we need is love and beer”)

all we need is some ice cream and a hug

all we need is some ice cream and a hug

all we need is some ice cream and a hug"



Better. those songs talk about drinking tho O_O DRINKING IS NOT GOOD OK?
It's bad k? dont try it k? :))
Lets just all be happy :D AND a last thought for the night....being grown up isnt half as fun as growing up :P (hahahaha another song:P)

Good night planet world :D

Paramore - My Heart (acoustic)




Awesome cover. watch it before camp people flood multi :P

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Good monring 2009 HS Camp!

ok....so i woke up this morning cuz all my bros were leaving for camp. I didn't get out of bed though because honestly still really sad that im getting left behind. The instant they left however, the house got super quiet and i had to get up. Tried to busymyself on the computer and it worked for a while. Now im kinda feeling ....i dunno....cuz i know they're all at gcf lang and te bus hasnt left yet. I cant go back to sleep. 3 days lang. I'll be ok. Only child mode :))

Im making coffee. i think if i get hyper i'll feel better. I have to practice for saturday worsip. :\ SAD DAY FOR MATT. darn it! hmmmmm... at least i have band practice tonight so i have something to do other than think about them at camp. i dunno. friday night my parents want to sleep in a hotel cuz we have this certificate something something (GC for a hotel? :)) ) that will help too. Saturday morning will suck tho cuz i dont have anything to do. boo! hmmmm...maybe college people want to hang out again on sat. Sana.

Coffee is ready. Imma drink it, try to do some push-ups (i don't know why anymore), do my devos, then practice the songs. THEN! i'll go out of this freakin lonely house and go to a freakin lonely mall.