Twice and Thirty Times

I was reading an interview by Dashboard Confessional singer Chris Carrabba, and he was talking about writing songs for an album. He said that he had written 30 songs and thought he had already written and REwritten the new album. But then he wrote the song "Get Me Right" and he realized that it was just the beginning.

I really don't know how he writes his songs so well. He makes you feel the moment, the passion, the defeat, ...the mark, the mission, the brand, the scar.

I know this isnt anywhere near twice and thirty times, but it was worth a shot. 

The wind blows your hair

in my face

And you just smile

right back at me

Like you used to

Like you used to

Then you turn away.

I think that was worth the 30 minute break. 4:30am, next home work here I come!

If i could, i only want to make you smile. If you'd only stay with me a whiiiiiiiiiiiiiile :P (plus 44)

Major buzz kill

I was watching how i met your mother a few nights ago. Ted and Robin had been broken up for 6 months, and Robin was dating a 40 year old man. But when Ted and Robin were making pie's in the kitchen, they were super awkward and didnt know what to talk about. Then something happened. When they tried to say sorry, they hugged and it turned into a kiss and it turned into...you know. They got super awkward after, and it was ruining Thanksgiving for all of the group.

But during dinner, Robin's boy friend was talking about random stuff and he said "Major buzz kill". Ted and Robin both suddenly saluted and said "major buzz kill'. Like a reflex. No one else did it, but they did. And then Ted said in the voice over that friendships are something that just happen. If you're friends, then you're friends.I dunno, i found it to be a super sweet moment.

Friends are like that. You shouldn't have to force it. Even if you are having a fight, but you are truly friends, you will eventually have a "Major buzz kill" moment and realize why you were friends in the first place.

So here's to my friends. Here's to the ones I didn't have to force. Here's to the ones who came naturally. Even if we have general problems, *GENERAL PROBLEM with salute* here's to the "major buzz kill" moments :)

We won't cry about this.

Was helping some of the sophies with their fil lit a few days ago. They were reading "we don't cry about this". I related to that story a lot when i read it this time.

A girl leads you on for a whole sem. We won't cry about this.

You're 1.25 GPA doesnt feel like it matters to anyone. We won't cry about this.

She's so happy without me. We wont cry about this.

She's so happy with him. We won't cry about this.

Im used to getting hurt na. I dont want to cry about this. All i want to give her is time, but she won't let me. I dont mind giving up money for her. Money is paper. But id much rather give time. Time to let her see what i feel for her. time to let her see she's not a rebound. but thats ok. We won't cry about this.

Im just tired of being used. But we won't cry about that either.

sorry. having a bad night. saw a kid fall off the foot bridge. :/

i wish people mean what they say. :/ but on the other hand, im just thankful to have the friends that do :)

After God's own heart :)

I just came from a church retreat this past sunday-monday. The title was "A Team After God's Own Heart". We talked about the difference between being committed to God, and being surrendered to God. When you are committed to God, you get burned out cuz you focus on "doing". When you are surrendered to God, you focus on "being".

We also talked about loving God. Love is patient (goes through long suffereing) love is kind, does not envy, does not boast, and so on and so on.

I've really been trying to put God first lately. I've been trying to show Him i love Him first. It's hard tho. But im getting there.

God is testing me right now. He's seeing if i learned anything from this retreat. He's been testing me since the moment i got back. And honestly I havent been doing so well with it. But im working on it.

"I'm working on it" has kinda been how i can describe everything in my life lately. Working on it. School, love life, spiritual life, friends. Working on it.

I'm just committing it all to God and knowing He'll do what's best :) I want to want what He wants. i want to be a man after his own heart :)

Loving someone means you don't look for anything in return. :)