1

BUZZ!!!
baby_webhead: hey
baby_webhead: you ok?
Nicah Santos: yep.
Nicah Santos: Sorry it took my so long.
Nicah Santos: Just finished up a project.
baby_webhead: ok
Nicah Santos: okay.
Nicah Santos: you go first.
baby_webhead: oh maaaan
baby_webhead: i dont know how to start
baby_webhead: hahaha
Nicah Santos: XD take your time.
Nicah Santos: well, not really.
baby_webhead: i think you pretty much understand it tho
baby_webhead: its like...
baby_webhead: but the thing i
baby_webhead: s
baby_webhead: i hate not benig ok with you
baby_webhead: like when i saw you on sunday and then it felt awkward for me, i hated that so much
Nicah Santos: I noticed that you were awkward.
baby_webhead: that i couldnt look you in the eyes
baby_webhead: that sucked
baby_webhead: but
baby_webhead: i hate fighting with you MORE than anything that bothers me
baby_webhead: like even if im jealous of robin or even if i feel like your just using me...its like 10 times worse when im fighting with you
Nicah Santos: we're not fighting, alright?
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos: If we were fighting, I wouldn't have even looked at you yesterday.
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: wow thanks
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: ...sarcastic?
baby_webhead: very
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: anyway
baby_webhead: i was gonna say something i cant remember
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: wait
baby_webhead: hmmmm
Nicah Santos: just keep typing.
baby_webhead: im sorry?
baby_webhead: cuz...sometimes i just feel like bringing up issues when i feel hurt
baby_webhead: but sometimes they arent worth briinging up
Nicah Santos: this is worth bringing up.
Nicah Santos: wait.
Nicah Santos: should I go first?
Nicah Santos: i know what to say.
baby_webhead: go
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: thing is...
Nicah Santos: It's REALLY hard for me that you guys dislike each other so much.
Nicah Santos: You dislike him.
Nicah Santos: He really dislikes you.
Nicah Santos: And I'm caught between you two, 'cause I love you both so much.
Nicah Santos: I was really upset Friday night 'cause I realized that some day, I might have to pick between you two.
Nicah Santos: 'cause it seems like things aren't ever gonna be alright if I keep you both in my life.
Nicah Santos: and I CAN'T.
Nicah Santos: I CANNOT choose.
Nicah Santos: If one of you makes me choose, I will not be able to.
Nicah Santos: What then?
baby_webhead: im not gonna ask you to choose
Nicah Santos: I'll just forget you both? that's gonna suck like crazy.
baby_webhead: even if you choose him im still gonna be here for you
baby_webhead: you know that right?
baby_webhead: but that doesnt mean im not gona get hurt
baby_webhead: but i wont just leave you
Nicah Santos: C'mon.
Nicah Santos: That's not gonna happen.
Nicah Santos: I mean.
Nicah Santos: I said it na.
Nicah Santos: I'm not gonna choose.
baby_webhead: ok
baby_webhead: its like this
baby_webhead: you know naman i like you
baby_webhead: and i hope you understand what that means from my side
baby_webhead: cuz ive talked to you about didi and najee
baby_webhead: so you know how i am with all this
baby_webhead: but im not gonna do make the moves naman
baby_webhead: espescially not now
baby_webhead: cuz itd be...weord
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: but that doesnt mean im not gonna wait for you
baby_webhead: like if things with you and robin work
baby_webhead: then
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: but if not, ill see where it goes from there
baby_webhead: but theres something i have to tell you tho
Nicah Santos: okay.
baby_webhead: remember when i told you i liked you...i said that if i do anything its just cuz you're my best friend and not cuz i like you
Nicah Santos: right?
baby_webhead: its really hard to do
baby_webhead: cuz its not just 2 feelings i can seperate
baby_webhead: they over lap a lot
baby_webhead: cuz i love you...in 2 ways....but those two ways cant be separated
baby_webhead: does that make sense?
Nicah Santos: It does.
Nicah Santos: I figured.
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos: But I kinda just gave you the benefit of the doubt and stopped trying to treat you differently.
Nicah Santos: Like I make a conscious effort to shake the thought off.
Nicah Santos: "It's okay to hug him like this 'cause he's my best friend."
Nicah Santos: Stuff like that.
Nicah Santos: Then afterwards, I realize that you're not just my best friend.
Nicah Santos: You're my best friend with really strong emotions who's confused.
Nicah Santos:
baby_webhead: right
baby_webhead: the reason this is hard is cuz
baby_webhead: its not wrong that i like you...and its not wrong that you like him...its just how we handle the situation that makes it right or wrong
Nicah Santos: are we handling it wrong?
Nicah Santos: am I/
Nicah Santos: *?
baby_webhead: we're not
baby_webhead: we're talking about it
Nicah Santos: Okay.
baby_webhead: i think its so awesome that nothing changed between us
baby_webhead: although i wished that they would have
baby_webhead: but then i realized it could have gone so totally wrong
baby_webhead: but it didnt
baby_webhead: cuz you;re awesome like that
Nicah Santos: so are you.
Nicah Santos:
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: you know, you don't have to try so hard to set your feelings aside.
Nicah Santos: 'cause I know it hurts you when you do.
baby_webhead: you know, i worry about you all the time
baby_webhead: when we dont text for a day i worry about you
baby_webhead: but at ministry week, i got really distracted with kat
baby_webhead: (i need to be honest here)
baby_webhead: and i stopped thinking about you so much
baby_webhead: and it was nice
Nicah Santos: isn't that a good thing?
Nicah Santos:
baby_webhead: cuz i didnt worry so much and it didnt hurt every time i knew you were with him
baby_webhead: and then when i got back
baby_webhead: things slowly went back
baby_webhead: but that time you told me "i dont know whats going on with you lately"
baby_webhead: i liked the fact that for once you were the one who needed me more than i needed you
baby_webhead: cuz i really need you...as a best friend
baby_webhead: but yeah
Nicah Santos: you know...
Nicah Santos: if we're thinking realistically.
Nicah Santos: the whole best friend thing's changed.
baby_webhead: like how?
Nicah Santos: 'cause even if you say it's okay to talk about Robin and all that (like best friends are supposed to), I can't. 'cause it hurts you, and I don't wanna be the one to hurt you.
Nicah Santos: there are boundaries that I used to be able to cross before all this, which I can't now.
baby_webhead: im sorry
baby_webhead: you know i try hard too
baby_webhead: like i ask about him even if i dont want to know
baby_webhead: because i want to know whats going on in your life
baby_webhead: i dont want it to be like what happened in the summer
baby_webhead: and then all of a sudden you have a thing with him na pala and i didnt know
Nicah Santos: Right.
Nicah Santos: I was afraid to tell you, and now I am again.
baby_webhead: it hurts when i ask you about it but id rather know than not know
baby_webhead: this sucks so much cuz im supposed to be happy for you that you have someone
Nicah Santos: and i'm supposed to be all, "so, how's it going with ___? " or "hey, you okay? things alright with ___?"
Nicah Santos: BUT I CAAAAN'T.
baby_webhead: yeah
baby_webhead: its just that with you its so different
baby_webhead: i mean
baby_webhead: than with other people
baby_webhead: when im with you even if im angry all of a sudden im not angry anymore
baby_webhead: and when you're there its like the other things that are on my mind dont matter as muich
baby_webhead: and its always kinda been that way
baby_webhead: ever since
baby_webhead: just cuz you;'re important to me
baby_webhead: but now its like...whoa.
baby_webhead: im trying to figure out how to deal with it
Nicah Santos: well that's 'cause i'm your best friend, right?
baby_webhead: yeah it is
Nicah Santos: but you're still waiting for something.
baby_webhead: yeah...
baby_webhead: if he wasnt there would there be a chance?
baby_webhead: if there isnt...then i dunno...it wont change how i feel naman
Nicah Santos: Honestly, I don't know.
Nicah Santos: because you're just too much of a brother to me.
Nicah Santos: To the point that when you told me you liked me,
Nicah Santos: I felt like..
Nicah Santos: "EWWW, INCEST."
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: and when you said that we should reconsider each other when we're older,
Nicah Santos: in my head, I was all...
Nicah Santos: "sure, like that's happening.  "
Nicah Santos: 'cause...
Nicah Santos: I just don't see it.
baby_webhead: hey i didnt say that! you did!
Nicah Santos: 'cause you're my KUYA.
baby_webhead: you made the 5 years thing not me
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: ok
baby_webhead: i understand
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos: WAS NOT ME.
Nicah Santos: YOU PROPOSED IT.
baby_webhead: IT SO WAS!
baby_webhead: why would i propose that????
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: i dunno
Nicah Santos: 'CAUSE YOU'RE CRAZY.
baby_webhead: excuse me???
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos: I'm sorry.
Nicah Santos: Can't get something off my chest right now so I don't have to say it ever again to you? XD
baby_webhead: sure
Nicah Santos: I love you Robin. And you gotta know it's big deal, because I'm using the word "love" here.
Nicah Santos: Which trust me, I don't just throw around.
Nicah Santos: *I love Robin
Nicah Santos: FAAAAAIL. XD
baby_webhead: you suck
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: I'm sorry.
Nicah Santos: Wait c'mon.
Nicah Santos: so the pain's over with na.
Nicah Santos: can I go on? XD
baby_webhead: yeah
Nicah Santos: It's to the point that I really do see something with him in the future. Like... Long long future.
Nicah Santos: My mom told me that she'll allow me to have a boyfriend when
Nicah Santos: 1. I'm mature enough.
Nicah Santos: and number 2. when she sees that marriage is becoming a big part of my life.
Nicah Santos: like, i'm giving importance to it.
Nicah Santos: and that's why she's allowing me to be his girlfriend next yaer.
Nicah Santos: *year.
baby_webhead: ok
baby_webhead: as in like...any time next year?
Nicah Santos: uh.
Nicah Santos: once i'm 16.
baby_webhead: ok
baby_webhead: im still gonna wait for you tho...
baby_webhead: ...cuz if God doesnt want me to like you he'll take away what i feel
baby_webhead: but that does suck...but that is awesome for you
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: you don't feel that way.
baby_webhead: if ever i get mad at you/...just try to understand
baby_webhead: that i dont mean it
Nicah Santos: okay.
Nicah Santos: no smiley?
baby_webhead: no smiley
Nicah Santos: oh.
baby_webhead: its ok
baby_webhead: there...smiley na
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos: Haaaay.
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: what else do you wanna say?
baby_webhead: i dont know him so i cant understand what you do
baby_webhead: thats all
Nicah Santos: what do you mean "what you do"?
baby_webhead: i dont see the whole situation the way you do
baby_webhead: but hats off to him cuz he got you
Nicah Santos:  Thank you.
Nicah Santos: I know you don't. XD
Nicah Santos: He doesn't either.
Nicah Santos: He doesn't understand why our situation affects me so much.
baby_webhead: wwooooohoooooooooooo
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: ok
Nicah Santos: what woohoo?
baby_webhead: nothing
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: thats me
baby_webhead: something something
baby_webhead: nothing
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: NOT MAKING SENSE BESPREN.
Nicah Santos:
baby_webhead: im trying not to say things that i know i shouldnt say
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos:  Hmmkay.
baby_webhead: you know when i wake up to text you at 6 i have nothing else to wake up for except that
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: sorry i just wanted to say that
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: I know.
Nicah Santos: You miss me eh.
Nicah Santos:
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: you wanna know how my day goes?
baby_webhead: i guess so
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: I text you in the morning.
Nicah Santos: I go to school.
Nicah Santos: Get in the car, tired as heck.
Nicah Santos: Then he starts texting me.
Nicah Santos: And then you start texting me.
Nicah Santos: And then I start feeling torn.
Nicah Santos: And then he calls.
Nicah Santos: And I forget all about that.
Nicah Santos: And then I pray before bed.
Nicah Santos: And I realize I haven't talked to you since that afternoon.
Nicah Santos: And then I get guilty.
Nicah Santos: And then I miss you.
Nicah Santos: Then it starts all over again.
Nicah Santos:
baby_webhead: you wanna know how my day goes?
baby_webhead: i wake up at 6 to text you
baby_webhead: half asleep in bed till 7
baby_webhead: then i get up and text you till you go to class
baby_webhead: then i do my devos
baby_webhead: go to school
baby_webhead: then at lunch i look at the clock and wonder what you're doing
baby_webhead: and i wonder if you are too busy to text
baby_webhead: then after school i go home
baby_webhead: and i shake the thought of you and him while i study
baby_webhead: then by 5 i sometimes get the courage to text you for a bit
baby_webhead: then i figure you have better things to do with your time
baby_webhead: then i use the PC
baby_webhead: then sleep
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos:
baby_webhead: well thats life
baby_webhead: you cant make everyone happy
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: But but.
Nicah Santos:  Hay.
Nicah Santos: I don't know.
baby_webhead: you know what the funny thing is?
baby_webhead: you said you;d never choose but you kinda do
baby_webhead: you kinda choose him over me everyday
baby_webhead: and thats the part that i was talking about when i texted you on friday
baby_webhead: thats the thing that hurts me
Nicah Santos: i'm sorry.
Nicah Santos: i try not to.
Nicah Santos: that's why i give my mornings to you.
baby_webhead: ah man
baby_webhead: i feel so torn right now too
baby_webhead: but im just gonna keep doing what im doing cuz we're still great friends and i dont want that to change
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: what are you torn between?
baby_webhead: cuz half of me wants to be like "forget you. im not waking up at 6 to text you anymore"
baby_webhead: but thats just my immature side coming out
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: cuz  you;re still important to me
Nicah Santos: wait.
Nicah Santos: so you don't like that you have my mornings?
baby_webhead: i do
baby_webhead: its just weird that its like you;re on a time share
baby_webhead: mornings is matt and the rest is robin
Nicah Santos: ahh.
Nicah Santos: i have that problem.
baby_webhead: i just wish you were my best friend all day and not just mornings
Nicah Santos: I am.
Nicah Santos: I'm your best friend ALWAYS.
Nicah Santos: But I can't give both of you my full attention.
Nicah Santos: And I can't give you just 50 percent of my attention and him 50 percent of my attention.
Nicah Santos: 'cause you both deserve a lot better than that.
baby_webhead: i know
baby_webhead: i understand
baby_webhead: can i be emo about this? XP
baby_webhead: if you tell me no then ill shake it off
Nicah Santos: ...
Nicah Santos: uhh.
Nicah Santos: i don't know.
Nicah Santos: NO.
Nicah Santos: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE EMO.
Nicah Santos:
baby_webhead: you suck!!!!!!!!!!!!
baby_webhead: sorry i cant obey you
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: YOU WILL.
baby_webhead: im walking in the rain tomorrow!
baby_webhead: and ill get sick!
baby_webhead: cuz of you!
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: jk
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WALK IN THE RAAAIN.
Nicah Santos: STOP IT.
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos: *
baby_webhead: ajklsffffffff'eg
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: Grr.
baby_webhead: can i vent it al out right now?
Nicah Santos: I have to go.
baby_webhead: dang
baby_webhead: ok
baby_webhead: ill find someone
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: thanks for telling me everything  
Nicah Santos: You're my best friend.
Nicah Santos: Of course I tell you everything.
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos: Well, now I do.
Nicah Santos: I'm sorry, okay?
baby_webhead: no you;re not
baby_webhead: but its ok
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: no you are...
baby_webhead: sorry im bitter pa
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead: oki
baby_webhead: ill text you tomorrow
baby_webhead: at 6
baby_webhead:
baby_webhead:
Nicah Santos: I am.
Nicah Santos: ALright.
Nicah Santos: Wait.
Nicah Santos: Would I rather I not show this to Robin?
baby_webhead: you can show him
Nicah Santos: sure?
baby_webhead: yeah...i dont care what you show him
Nicah Santos: alright.
Nicah Santos: I have to go.
Nicah Santos:
Nicah Santos is typing a message.
Nicah Santos: we okay na?
baby_webhead: yeah...WE'RE ok
baby_webhead: