Thursday, June 17, 2010

To the man who can't be moved

heard the song today in the mall. and i was just thinking....

"Mr. Man Who Can't Be Moved, you need to face the facts that she ain't coming back. She's probably in love with some other dude, and you think that she still thinks about you as often as you think of her, but she doesn't. She doesn't even think you of you. And no matter how hard you wish she'd care about you, she won't. Yeah, you'll forever have a hole in your heart, but it's your fault for giving her that piece."

All emo thoughts aside, i really thought of that when i heard the song :P

Sunday, June 6, 2010

How many days has it been?

Was thinking about the incredible hulk movie recently. There's this day count thing of how many days since his last incident of becoming hulk, and every time he changes, the counter goes back to zero. I found that to be a cool part of the movie :D ...and i think i want to watch it again :))

Anyway, i was thinking about our sins. The ones that we struggle a lot. sometimes, we kind of do the hulk thing. How many days since our last "incident"? and then when we screw up, the counter goes back to zero. We feel so motivated after like two weeks, and then so stupid when we have to reset it. And i had that mentality, until i realized something.

Why do i need to count the days? Sure, its good when you're just starting cuz it motivates you, but ultimately you're setting yourself up to fail. When you reach one or two weeks, you some times get the thought "ive been free so long dont i deserve to mess up even just once now?"

If you asked me, "Matt, when was the last time you visited friendster?" i'd be like "who knows? i don't care and i don;t even think about that anymore. I have no desire to do so, so why count the days? I have multiply and Facebook. SO MUCH BETTER"

Shouldn't it be that way? With God it can be. :) we need to focus on not doing our sin, but we need to focus on God MORE. God is so much better. why think about sin when you can think about Him? Why think of something that brings temporary happiness when you can think of someone who brings eternal peace and joy?

"How many days since your last incident?"
"Don't remember because I'm too busy thinking about God" :)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Who ever you end up with is going to be one lucky girl to have you

If only they really meant it when they said it. :P Girls always say that, but when it turns out that they're the "lucky" girl, they don't seem to believe it anymore.

Ok, so i went to the dentist today, and i was listening to music in the taxi. started listening to my usually emo/senti whatever you wanna call it music, and i came across a song...the only song in my life that i ever cried while listening to. Its about a girl and a guy and basically they say that nothing lasts forever. the chorus says "you've already lost, when you only had barely enough to hang on"

I was thinking about how love..the romantic love, does things to your life. This summer, the second half anyway, i realized that im so not ready for a relationship and that im enjoying being single. Why couldn't i have realized this when i was 16? hormones! hahaha!! but anyway, i realized it now. Life is so much simpler with it. And we dont NEED it to survive. But for some reason the feeling keeps coming back.

THe only explanation i got is that God put it there. I don't really know why. But it's there. And for some reason, life is so much more fun with it :P It's like risking double or nothing with love. If you go for it, you could win one of the greatest things of your life, but if you go for it and screw up...sucks to be you :))

So honestly i dont know what i feel about it right now. Im kind undecided. Im not ready to be hurt again. But i kinda miss it all. miss the feeling of loving someone that much.

God is here to fill any hole in our life, even this one. And He's filling it for me. And He will keep filling it for me, until the day he shows me what else He has planned for me to put in there :) hehe.




"She told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap. She said nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer. But you've already lost, when you only had barely enough of her to hang on."