Red Promenade Blue Masquerade =D

The cam was with my bro Mark so we only got like 70 pics but that's good enough.

man oh man

i hate being shy. it sucks. it really does. I think too much. If would just go and talk to some people then maybe things would be better. I'm not just talking about a girl i like here. I'm talking about everyone in general.  Like there's only a few people i can just go and talk to without knowing what to say, but for the rest it's kinda hard.

Here comes the prom tomorrow. You think i'll have a good time? yup, that's what i think too. 50/50 chance of great or terrible. 

and you know what else? go mamalujo! they're playing tomorrow. That's right, no trainees with them anymore cuz the tans aint considered trainees (no offence jeff, i got nothing against your bros). Why? cuz they got a ridiculous amount of exposure and practice time while little old shy me gets forgotten as usual.

Tomorrow will be sick. either in the good way or the bad way. shucks. i hate this feeling. Maybe it's cuz i'm not really part of the production. maybe it's cuz i dont have a date. maybe it's cuz i dont want a date unless it's someone i know i'll have fun with. someone i can be myself around.  Well there are only two people i could ask to the prom that are like that. I asked one, and the other wants to go stag too. 

Stag. that should be the new word instead of Scum. It's just as bad... i think. i dont know yet for sure.

at least some people will have a good time at the prom.... they'll get to dance with someone and i wont. they'll get their love letter read on stage and i wont. They'll get people cheering for them while they sing on stage and i wont.

Welcome to my life.....

*sorry bout the EMOness. i just need to let it out right now. That's why only a few people can see this post hahaha.  and by the time you read this, i'll probably be long over this feeling...

\m/

Messiah Retreat Pics =D (mostly me and maow messing around. Check it out!)

Today is valentines

If you guys remember my last blog, that's pretty much what i did today. Well, let's go throgh the whole thing:

"Here's my prediction: I'll wake up, eat lunch/breakfast and then do school. I'll watch MTV (they're doing this "emo love songs for losers who dont have dates on valentines" -aka me- thing) and then maybe listen to some of my own music. then i'll watch Raw and Smackdown replays at 4. then maybe i'll text people then cook dinner. then...that's it. eat, sleep. end of day!"

So i woke up and did school while watching MTV. Then i did listen to my own music. then i did watch Raw. Then i cooked dinner from 6-8. it was soooooooo tiring! hahaha. But it was a special valentines dinner for my mom so it was worth it. Yes, i did text people too. :) I texted the only 3 girls that i really care about =D (besides my mom of course. that's a given that i care for her hehe)

So yeah. it was ok. i might text more people in a while too.

I just have to say one more thing before i end this blog ( this really lame entry hahahaha ) : The coolest thing i saw today was undertaker chokeslam batista! wooooooooo! The animal is going down!

It's gonna be valentines tomorrow

What am i gonna do? I'm home all day? Is it supposed to be a special day? cuz it's never been one for me. Starting to feel a bit left out cuz i know it's supposed to be a fun day.  But i dunno.

What will i do tomorrow?

Here's my prediction: I'll wake up, eat lunch/breakfast and then do school. I'll watch MTV (they're doing this "emo love songs for losers who dont have dates on valentines" -aka me- thing) and then maybe listen to some of my own music. then i'll watch Raw and Smackdown replays at 4. then maybe i'll text people then cook dinner. then...that's it. eat, sleep. end of day!

I kinda dislike valentines right now... But i'm sure if i had someone i would love it! hahaha.

here are some hearts for no reason - <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

hmmmmmmm. is there anything else to say right now?

hmmmmmmmmm. i got nothing. sorry, there hasn't been much to blog about lately.

Maybe i'll have some stories after the prom thingy.

That's it guys

-Matt

WrestleMania 23 All Grown Up

Start:

Apr 1, '07

WrestleMania!

John Cena Vs Shawn Michaels!! The Champ Vs The Icon! The Dr of Thuganomics Vs Showstopper, The Headliner, The Main Event, Heart Break Kid!

Batista Vs The Undertaker! THe Animal Vs The Deadman!

On the grandest stage of them all.
"You haven't lived until you've danced at WrestleMania."

Funny Story

A few days ago, i was washing my hands in the kitchen.  The fridge is right next to the sink.  ANd anyway, i had to get something.  So while i was washing one hand, i tried to open the fridge.  Guess what happend?  I got shocked! hahaha.  So i thought to myself, "It's because my hand is wet!" So i dried it on my shorts and reached for the fridge again.  my other hand however, was still under the running water.  Guess what happened this time? I got shocked AGAIN!  THen i thought, "why? I'm wearing slippers!"

Only then did i realize that washing your hand and using the other one to touch the fridge was not a good idea! =D

My life as of now

I signed it. For those of you who know what it means, i signed the covenant thingy. I hope i can keep my promise to God stop hating these guys already.  I still feel a bit wierd when i see them, but i'm going to try to work on it.  I guess the reason this is so hard is because deep down i want to hate them. It feels good to hate those who make your life difficult. But it's not right.  In my QT (also the devos i used for missions team) it said something like forgive others because God forgave us through Christ.  And i know that what i've done is much worse then what.... this guy has done to me.  This guy doesn't even know he did it to me. 

I guess it's also cuz we never started out on the right foot. It always felt like a competition for our common friend back in millenium. And then... that something something happened right angel ;) So i think he didn't like me either.  But i guess he's an ok guy afterall.  I just hope i can focus on God more then my problems with him right now. No. I will. I will focus on God.

I was gonna tell angel a bunch of stuff but i felt bad that i was just another guy using her to dump out all his problems on. I know it affects her too after a while.  So i gave her the lighter version.  Just so that i wouldn't have to burden her too much.

Dang. i wish i didn't have to be stupid with that thing anymore. stuuuupid! *slams face on keyboard* No good can come of this. God, help me to work this out. You are already helping me witht he other things.  I don't wanna lose what i have over something stupid. Maybe it's not stupid, and that makes it kinda worse...... bummer. I need stop trying to be someone and just be who God wants me to be... Focus on Him Matt. I know you can. i know you want to. hehe.

Missions Team is getting really hard for me to handle. I've been doing non-stop ministry now for about 3 years now. I was really feeling burned out already but then i got put in charge of the missions team.  But as hard as it is, i'm not leaving them.  I don't wanna.  I know how much the team hurts from losing a leader.  I'm in this for the long run.  It kinda makes me nervous and overwhelmed just saying this, but i'm probably not taking a break for the next year or 2. I'm not even talking about leaving here. I'm talking about a break!  But at the same time, my life feels meaningless and empty if I'm not serving Him. LEt's Go Missions Team!

*breathes out deeply* I need to keep my focus on God here. Not problems or people.  Church this weekend is helping me a lot.  I really need to be surrounded by people who love Him right now.

Guyz, even with unlimitxt out for now, it's try to keep in touch this week. Ima gonna be texting you cuz i dont wanna feel alone. I know you're all there for me, but i dont wanna FEEL alone. Tnx for being patient with me through all my struggles lately.

I want to feel like myself again, and i just need to know that i matter to some people out there in this huge world.  There i go again, focusing on myself! Forget i said that.

See all you guys tomorrow. Let's worship God together. =D Hope to talk to some of you. (talk as in talk and not just make kwento)

Life: the only game with no cheat codes

If could say everything, i would. But i can't. It's not even one situation. THere are several. And it's killing me right now. I dont think saying it would solve anything either. I'd probably make things worse. But can i live with things the way they are now? no. i can't. So what am i gonna do? That's the same question i ask myself before i sleep every night. What am i going to do about everything?

grrrrr.

Najee is right. Why do guys like me like to talk in riddles? maybe it's cuz i'm hoping some of you can figure them out.

God, please help me not to do anything stupid.  Help me to fix these things, or help me to accept them.