me right now

so most of you probably know that ive been troubled lately. its really many things combine. as in super. why did they have to all be sabay-sabay? i feel that this isnt me being immature, but it is me being my right maturity and having to deal with something beyond it. i was listening to this song a while ago, entitled "dusk and summer" . i felt the lyrics a lot. most parts anyway.

She smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles
When the world is hers and she held your eyes
Out in the breezeway down by the shore in the lazy summer
And she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers
She looked deep into you as you lay together quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough to hang on

And she combed your hair, and she kissed your teeth
And she made you better than you'd been before
She told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer
And she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap
She said "nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer"

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough to hang on

She said, "no one is alone the way you are alone"
And you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough of her to hang on

Im gonna deal with it somehow i guess. ive been praying about it super hard already for a week. maybe i need to pray some more. God is teachig me a lesson talaga. its just hard to learn.