The first dream

I woke up early today. real early. with no alarm. 6:30. i dreamed of her for the first time since i liked her. We were in a mall together....well...at first we were commuting or something but i dont remember that part too well. we were in a mall and she was gonna be picked up by her parents. I was telling her to mention to her parents that she met up with me, just so that they know. I know we also talked a bit abot me liking her and what i feel. yeah. it was kinda weird. but, i kept waking up, going back to sleep, and it was still her on my mind.

sometimes i think about the things she has told me in real life. and it still hurts. but i dont let it hurt too long, i shake it off and try to think of other things. Sometimes it also hits me that she's just 15. that scares me a lot.

God, please help me to be patient. super. i need to be. i want it to be in your time, if it will even happen at all. help me not to get hurt. and if it is Your will, please let things with her and the guy be over at the end of the 3 months.

...i often feel like this is it...this is my chance...my 3 months to get ahead of him.... but no. thats not what this is for. this is the PAUSE.....then why am i not playing in the band and going to her glee competition on sat? cuz as her best friend, i promised her i would go even before jourd asked me to play. that's why. :)

This is the PAUSE. for me...for her...for him.....God please let THEM be OVER at the end of the 3 months. PLEASE. but....Your will be done.