On September 7, 2009 a lot of stuff happened. ok, so maybe it started a bit earlier than that. It's like this. Everyday when i walk to school, i pray for a lot of things. one of these things is that God will show me who the girl is. you know. THE girl. :)) anyway, ive been praying for that for a while already. Then the weekend came. I really wasnt expecting anything but as it turns out, i got a few coincidences that were too perfect. It got me thinking that maybe it was God finally making things clearer.
Friday i got a text from najee. she said she wanted to hang out. so we did. long story short, she told me she's still hung up on studying in europe and her dad said if she does, then she has to work there. She also told me her application for the scholarship is almost ready, then she'll apply na. So yeah it kind of struck me that she's gonna be leaving. I didnt think much of it at the time. Then on sunday....ummm yeah....i met nix in the lobby. She told me that she had been on the phone with Robin and that he told her his family would be moving to Canada. :P Even though i didn't say anything, in the back of my mind if wasreally happy. :)) so mean right? but yeah i was. :P Then it made me think why Najee is leaving eventually, but so is the guy who likes nix. hmmmmmm. you see what i mean?
So i continued to pray about it. and that leads me to the events of today. haaaaaaaay. i was texting nix in the morning and she said she was going to podium with riana. so i said id meet her there. I already had the feeling id be getting another sign...i dunno why. So i met them at figaro. and we talked and stuff. fun. the usuals. then at one point, nix stood up and pulled riana to one side and they taked about something. then nix said she had to tell me something. and se was really scared to tell me. and she made me promise not to get angry when she told me. so i was already preparing myself for something big. She told me to walk with her while riana stayed so taht we could talk for a bit. Anyway, as we walked i just asked her, "so robin kissed you?" i could already tell that that was it.She said yeah. It was at the friday party. all her friends got drunk except the two of them. and then when they were away on one side together he kissed her. that stupid.....freakin....guy....kissed...her......
honestly i didnt know what to say or how to react. i told her it wasnt ok but whats done is done. so we went back to riana. i could tell nix felt awkward already. at one point, she held my hand underthe table. i dunno. to check if i was ok. naturally, i ...liked it. :\
sothen we walked around podium some more.Raina left. her mom picked her up. then me and nix walked around and stuff. looked at shoes and other stuff. anyway, we went to national and sat down in one isle. she was sitting kind of far from me so i told her to move closer. so she did. she put her arm in my arm. as we talked about her....how she felt and stuff...i was looking down at her hand. and i dont knwo why but i just held her hand. dang it. it was amazing. we talkd there lang. and she just rested her head on my arm and we held hands. we shifted possitions and let go, then held hands again. i wanted to tell her that i liked her and had been praying abouther. but i wasnt that stupid. :P im gonna wait for it. for the right time.
now you probably understand why im so confused. Robin is leaving, but he kissed her. but i held hands with her. whaaaaat am i doing???? :( honeslty, ive been super pissed off at the fact that he kissed her. im not mad at anyone in particular. im just mad that it happened. i know its his fault. but he's a stupid 15 year old. im not. so i have to control myself more and do the right thing.
The worst part was before we separated, she told me how she felt about the kiss, and how much she liked it >:( IWJEIJERJLAKSJDKLAMLF:IJAWJLFJKLAMSJ it pisses me off a lot.
haaaaaaaaaay. so nix and i texted the rest of the day. told each other how much we miss each other and that we love each other. thats pretty much it. thats where im at now. i wish the 3 years would go by sooner so robin would be gone.thats how long before he moves to canada. 3 freakin years. God, give me patience please.
what a day. september 7. what a day.
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